When My Heart Soars

       While I am still working on my current writing inspiration playlist, these are all songs that literally make my hear skip a beat, send chills up my spine, and want to cry because I love them so much. (Dramatic, right?) That’s how I feel about them though. All of these are simply beautiful. I hope you all listen to and enjoy these songs like I have. ❤
        1. Watermark by Enya
        2. Kiss The Rain by Yiruma
        3. Forever In My Dreams by Fariborz Lachini
        4. Love Actually Piano compilation
        5. Dauðalogn by Sigur Ros
        6. Beauty and The Beast played by Marcelo Tau (on Spotify)
        7. See You Again (feat. Charlie Puth) by Wiz Kahlifa
        8. Let’s Talk About Love by Celine Dion

Change

Earlier on in the week, I heard a Brad Paisley song I haven’t listened to in years. Hearing it though, really reminded me of how I came to be where I am today. I started out being completely lost, but like he says, sometimes that’s really the best place to be. Because I was lost, I was also found. Love found me, and healed me in more ways than one. Because of love, I have become a better person than I once was.

This is not to say that I do not carry out certain actions I wish I wouldn’t, or say things I shouldn’t, because I do. I’m not perfect, and my mistakes prove that quite well. However, by my husband simply loving me and supporting me through everything that we have faced together, I was able to change and grow as a person. Becoming a mommy to my wonderful little girl has also made me a different person as well. You’d be hard pressed not being able to change when becoming a parent, especially if you weren’t mature enough at first to begin with. Everyone has their bad days, but I feel as if I handle most of them extremely more level headed than I did say a few years ago. I’m a hot head though, who doesn’t like confrontation at all. My life was never made to be easy, but it certainly has been worth it.

For a long time previously, I was lost. I was as lost as someone could be really, without ever being physically lost. I have searched my whole entire life for a place that I felt I belonged, wishing I could find something more than where I was at. The first time I felt like I belonged anywhere was when I began to go to the high school that is now my Alma mater. I didn’t find myself there completely, but that is where I met some other pretty amazing people, including the love of my life. There are certain places in my timeline that I wish I could blot out from ever existing. However, I realize that like it or not, they are a piece of me.

Music is a huge piece of me and is one of my escapes. It is my emotional outlet where I feel I can completely let myself go, and give into any emotion that I may have, whether I am playing it or listening to it. That is why every iPod that I have owned thus far has been filled with every single song I love that I am able to put on it. That is why my piano is so important to me, and why I find myself crying more often than not when I am teaching myself or simply hear an exquisite piece played well. Suffice it to say, I place the value of music very high on the list.

Tonight as I listen to a wonderful piano artist by the name of Yiruma, I am contemplating life and thinking on a different level than I have previously. Once again, I feel myself changing as a person, which I don’t count as necessarily a bad thing. (Ps. I despise the word “thing”. Sooner or later, I will obliterate it from my vocabulary, once I have confidently found better words to use than it.) A few years ago especially, handling change was not my forte to any degree. I’ve realized though that sometimes change is necessary, especially when it is aiming to change your life for the better.

Looking back now, I am grateful for everything that has come into my life as either a lesson or a blessing. Through all of these experiences, I have come to know myself better, whether people accept who I am or not. I may not know every single aspect of myself, because who knows absolutely everything about themselves, really? Different situations bring out different sides of everyone. However, now I know myself better than I did before. I am a wife, I am a mommy, but I am also me. I love who I am, even the parts that aren’t so lovable.

A few years ago and even as recent as last year, I was a mess emotionally. Between depression and learning to accept a vast amount of changes in my life, I had trouble coping at times, opting to run from the problem rather than solve it. Eventually though, I realized I can’t run from everything. Some things I still do, such as unnecessary confrontation, and negativity. Right now, despite my mistakes though, I am proud of myself. I am proud to say that I have progressed from mentally unsound teenager, to confused new parent/adult, to a normal person. Like I told my boss the other day, change really is a good thing.

What Have I Been Up To?

Hi everyone! A belated Happy Mother’s Day to everyone who this applies to! I’m not exactly a mommy blog, but I still feel like every mom deserves recognition, especially on Mother’s Day. Some of you may have noticed that I haven’t been posting a lot lately, which is definitely not for lack of trying. Over the course of the last month I have literally written about twenty rough drafts of posts that I plan on eventually sharing, but just have never gotten around to doing so. Last month was definitely a busy one, to say the least.

Camp NaNoWriMo, as many of you know, was my main focus for writing. I was able to win it, and write part of a rough draft of a novel. Quite honestly, I’m not satisfied with it at all though. The character development didn’t turn out the way I wanted it, the story felt rushed, and I think that more back story is in order. So, when I begin a new draft of that book, that’s some of the aspects I will be focusing on.

Just a few days ago, I came up with the idea for another novel, which I am really excited to write. It has a very well defined plot in my mind already, much unlike some of my other novels where I have skeleton plots with more character detail, but not as much detail in other areas as I would like. I may or may not choose this one for the July Camp NaNoWriMo. It definitely has promise, for sure. How much though of course depends on my effort with it.

Along with that, I have been writing to my pen pals, which I have come to enjoy immensely. Receiving mail in the post that are not bills is always nice. I realize bills are a part of life, but snail mail is so much more satisfying. Genealogy was another hobby I took up, but have since put it on hold. I’m still looking for information, but I mainly am in search of pictures and stories at the moment. When doing an extensive family tree, a lot of time and effort is put into it, as I found out.

Lucy has made leaps and bounds in the past month. It’s quite amazing to me how smart she is. Just earlier, she was running around with her toothbrush in hand, brushing her teeth ferociously. She has learned so many new things, and has started learning even more words. She loves saying “Dog”. She can identify different objects and people. She even knows when it’s time for mommy or daddy to go to work. More than a few times this week, she has thrown fits while we were getting ready for work. She even attempted to pull Nathan’s socks and shoes off one time, so he wouldn’t leave. It was definitely interesting to say the least! I love how she sponges up information, like it’s the most important thing in the world. She loves books, and reading to her is fun, except when she decides it’s not reading time anymore and shuts the book. I hate leaving a story unfinished, but she seems to have no problem. Haha.

With all of the good, this month has definitely brought on some frustrations, but this is life. Life is not meant to be perfect. Despite how aggravating it can be sometimes, if it were, there would be no excitement. I am still grateful for all of the wonderful parts of our life, which easily eclipse the times that make me want to throw muffins in people’s faces, even though at that moment I really wish I could.

In eight days, it will be the blog’s one year anniversary. It’s really hard to believe, because so much has happened since then. It’s crazy to see what a difference a year can make. I look forward to many more years writing this blog. I realize I’ve been absent lately, but I plan on changing that. I just need to play catch up first.

With summer coming, decisions will be made as we edge closer to a new school year. School is a major priority for the both of us, so we will definitely be working on that. While I have been working on my yoga when I can, if possible, I may end up trying to take a summer ballet class to slowly ease back into dance. I miss ballet with a great passion, and I hope to eventually go back to it full time one day. Of course work and family come first, so it would just be on a recreational level. Maybe a few yoga classes as well? Definitely looking forward to all of this and more this summer!

So, how has everyone been? I hope that you all have at least had more wonderful happenings in your life, than bad. I’d love to hear your comments and hear how you are! Do you have a project you are planning for the summer? What are you looking forward to this summer? If you have time, drop me a line. I love feed back. 🙂 I hope everyone who is reading this is having a blessed day!

Sincerely,

Trisha

For Those Who Hurt On Mother’s Day

A wonderful blog post by one of my favorite bloggers. This is everything that I wanted to write myself all in one post! Definitely worth the read!

john pavlovitz

Tear

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day.

For many people that means flowers and handmade cards and brunches and hugs and laughter. It means celebration and gratitude and rejoicing.

But for some it just means tears.

For many moms and adult children out there, this day is a stark unsolicited reminder of what was but no longer is, or it is a heavy holiday of mourning what never was at all.

This day might bring with it the scalding sting of grief for the empty chair around a table.

It might come with choking regret for a relationship that has been terribly severed.

It might be a day of looking around at other mothers and other children, and feeling the unwelcome intrusion of jealousy that comes with comparison.

Consider this a love letter to you who are struggling today; those whose Mother’s Day experience might be rather bittersweet— or perhaps only bitter.

This is consent to feel fully the contents of your…

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Being The Change

I want to start out by saying that over the past few weeks, I have felt ashamed of myself. I have been put into a funk of my own making, simply because I have sucked at being true to myself, and who I aim to be as a person. I backtracked, and fell into a dark hole of idiocy that is what other people who I dislike do. In short, I am not happy with a few decisions that I have made for myself as of late, and it has made me evaluate pretty much my whole existence.

I pride myself on always taking the high road, while peacefully diffusing a tense situation, or simply choosing flight to avoid unnecessary drama or confrontation. I’m not perfect, and I realize that it is inevitable that I will make mistakes. However, sometimes my mistakes simply are too grievous for me to just brush off. This would be the case in one certain instance last week where I stooped to a level I don’t ever like to enter.

To start off, I posted a ridiculous photo to my personal Facebook that in itself was a huge error on my part. However, I continued to insert foot into mouth by making ludicrous comments about said picture, attempting to defend my ignorant thoughts of said picture. In the end, a friend of mine made me realize that I was acting like the very people that I have been trying to protest against. Let’s just say, I am very ashamed of myself and my own hypocrisy.

Admitting that you’re wrong or that you’ve made a mistake is one of the hardest statements to utter. It’s really hard to reveal your own inadequacies to anyone, much less people who have thus far believed that you are someone worth listening to. However, I feel like if I don’t write this, then I will never be able to look at myself with anything short of disdain. Even though I have shamed myself into a corner, I realize that I can learn, grow, and then eventually move on from this. As humans we are always learning, always growing, and always changing.

What I wish to accomplish from this post besides admitting that I was wrong, is to be the change that I wish to see in the world, which has been my goal for almost my whole existence. Another reason that I have been upset with myself and my actions as of late, is simply because they didn’t align with my main goal, which is to be the change that I wish to see in the world. If I hope others will act with more love and compassion, then I definitely expect myself to do the same at the very least. So to further this belief, I will post a list of goals for myself that I hope one day the world will emulate.

1. Act with love and compassion to all, not just people that I care about.

2. Give more than I receive, and be grateful for what I have been blessed with.

3. Be tolerant of everyone’s beliefs, even if they massively disagree with my own. Respect that others have                          the right to their own opinions, even if those hurt your heart and make you want to puke.

4. Even when it hurts, be honest. Never dull down or change your answer to make someone else happy.

5. Use Thumper’s motto for hurtful words. Always find a kind word for everyone, even if they don’t deserve it.

6. Pay it forward.

7. Expect nothing, because the world does not owe me anything. Then, when a miracle does come my way, it                      will be a happy surprise.

8. Ignore the words of hateful people. I will not let others negativity wash over me and cause me to act in a                            negative way, or feel sorry for myself.

9. Keep promises, and refuse to make excuses.

10. Treat others how you wish to be treated, and take responsibility for the actions that I have carried out,                            whether positive or otherwise.

11. Love myself, and everyone around me with the same intensity.

12. Always give anything the best effort, whether I fail or not.

13. Be happy!

Well, there you have it. I don’t really have much else left to say. I have let this mistake consume me and my thoughts, but now I have made peace with it, and it’s time to move on. I have so much that I want to give the world, and my negativity is not one of those items.  So now, I will let go and continue forward, making sure that I spread as much positivity with me as a make my way through life. I hope that everyone who reads this is able to do the same. Until next time, I hope that you are having a wonderful day,

Blessings to all,

Trisha

Favorite Book/Movie/Series Quotes (#1)

Eon by Allison Goodman

” I found power in accepting the truth of who I am. It may not be a truth others can accept, but I cannot live any other way. How would it be to live a lie every minute of your life? I don’t think I could do it,” Lady Dela, pg. 245 of Eon by Allison Goodman.

Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling

” Happiness can be found even in the darkest times, if one only remembers to turn on the light,” Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban pg.

” It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live,” Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone.

” Do not pity the dead [Harry]. Pity the living and all of those living without love,” Albus Dumbledore. Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows.

” It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be,” Albus Dumbledore.

” Words are our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it,” Albus Dumbledore.

” Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy,” Albus Dumbledore

” Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be you,” Albus Dumbledore

Avatar: The Last Airbender

” When we hit our lowest point, we are open to the greatest change,” Avatar Aang, Avatar the Last Airbender.

” I know sometimes it hurts more to hope and it hurts more to care, but you have to promise me that you won’t stop caring,” Katara, Avatar the Last Airbender.

” Life is like this dark tunnel. You may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place,” Uncle Iroh, Avatar the Last Airbender.

” I don’t need anyone’s approval. I know who I am,” Toph Bei Fong, Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Dr. Seuss

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go,” Cat in The Hat.

” Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you,” Cat in The Hat.

The Vampire Diaries

“When it’s real, you can’t walk away,” Lexi.

” The first rule of truly living is to do the thing you’re most afraid of,” Rebekah Mikaelson.

” Anybody capable of love is capable of being saved,” Caroline Forbes.

” He is your first love. I intend to be your last, however long it takes,” Klaus Mikaelson.

” You should love the person that makes you glad that you’re alive,” Elena Gilbert.

” I used to think the worst feeling in the world was losing someone you love, but I was wrong. The worst feeling in the world is realizing that you’ve lost yourself,” Elena Gilbert.

” If we cease to believe in love, why would we want to exist?” Katerina Petrova.

That’s A Wrap!

I am excited to say that I have already validated my word count, and I’ve officially won Camp NaNoWriMo! My manuscript has over 50,000 words in it, and I’m still writing. I validated early at 30,000 though, because that was my internal personal goal. I wasn’t sure if I would make it that far, but I am honestly extremely proud of myself for juggling it all around life, etc.

Thanks to my friend Cherise over at Mommies Write Too, I didn’t give up. Between our in person writing sessions and talking over Google Hangouts non stop, she is one of the reasons that I was able to work so hard and go farther than I thought I could. Also, my amazing husband, for giving me some “me time” when I needed to get more words in my word count! 🙂

I guess you may be wondering, what now? Well, although I do have over fifty thousand words, the story has yet to be finished. I want to actually finish the story and then, begins the part I’ve dreaded the most, outlining, rewriting, and revising. I work a little differently than the average writer. I hate outlines, but I feel like I’m going to break down and start using them again.

Do I feel accomplished though? YES. I am immensely proud of myself in all honesty, because I was able to make it far enough that I have the bulk and beginnings of a wonderful manuscript. However, at least another draft will be needed before I actually start the serious editing. For July though, right now my plan is to write on my fantasy novel The Luminaria Chronicles: Book 1.

The great thing about these Camp NaNos, are the fact that they prepare you for the one in November. They’re more like practice runs, so you can see what you like doing and what works for you and your novel, before the pressure is really on. One thing I will definitely do for the next Camp and for NaNoWriMo in November, is more research for my novel. I love research. In the heat of my writing though, I generally hate doing it, because I just want to keep writing. It is hard to write certain scenes without knowing certain bits of research first though.

So, are you still writing or have you validated your word count? Have you tried Camp NaNoWriMo or are you planning on trying it out in July? I’d love to hear what you have to say!

I’ve received more snail mail, so I’ll be writing an update on that soon, which is exciting. 🙂 Over the past week or so I’ve just been working, doing some Yoga, and spending time with my family. It seems like this month has already flown by, which I can’t believe. I hope everyone is having a wonderful day!

Blessings to all,

Trisha

You ARE Beautiful!

Dedicated to all of the beautiful women (and men) in my life:

All too often, we let others or the little angry voice inside our head dictate who we are or how we feel about ourselves. Men and women are guilty of this, but women especially. There are so many voices around us telling us what we should and should not be, what we are and are not. It can be mind boggling, attempting to wade through all of these different opinions.

I am the first to admit that I am prone to self esteem issues. There are definitely parts of myself that I am working to change, because I don’t like these aspects of myself. However, I, like what many other people should do daily, is attempt to remember that there really are wonderful parts of me as well. For so long, I let what others said about me dictate what I thought of myself and how I acted. I believed lies that I was fed. I realize I’m not perfect and that I do have (many) faults, but one person (besides Hitler and the like) can’t be such a horrible person that there aren’t also good qualities about them as well.

Over time, I have learned to embrace my faults for what they are. I can’t and won’t pretend to be someone that I’m not. Are there parts of myself that I may not divulge to others, unless I feel that it is necessary? Yes, but that is true for everyone. Am I skinny? No, but I will drop whatever I am doing if someone needs me, unless it’s just impossible. Am I a procrastinator? Sure, I can be. However, I am also a hard worker, and I can’t stand not having a job. I may not work many hours a week, but I take pride in the fact that I am able to hold down a job. Am I flaky? Yup, I can be. Sometimes, alone time is just so much more appealing.

I could go on and on about what faults I have, but my point is this. As long as you know your faults, you can change them. If you don’t like something, change it! I am horrible about following through on certain things such as this, but even when I fail constantly, I always try to the very best of my ability. That’s why I say I’m a “mommy in progress”, because I am still growing and learning, despite the fact that I am a mother.

It took me a long time to realize that the only person’s opinion who really matters is my own. So what if the person sitting across from you in your college class doesn’t like you? So what if a family member is intent on spreading rumors about you for no apparent reason? The point is that you learn that self love is the most important kind of love that there is. If you don’t believe in yourself, then how can anyone else?

It truly breaks my heart to see women (and men) who have such a low opinion of themselves that they can’t honestly look in the mirror and find something beautiful about the person staring back at them. Beauty may only be skin deep, but believing that you are beautiful on the outside is only half the battle to loving yourself for who you really are on the inside. No matter what anyone says or tries to make you believe, you ARE beautiful and you deserve the very best that life has to offer. When you learn to love yourself, you realize this, and then you realize that you simply can’t except any less.

Oh Joyous Snailmail!

I received my first international letter today! My new pen pal Kathy’s letter finally made its way back to me, which excited me to no end. I practically jumped out of the car to run and go grab it, honestly. Snail mail excites me, ok guys. Haha. For a little over two hours I spent crafting a reply back. I can’t wait for her to receive it! 🙂

Today I sent out two more letters to people I had already previously promised, but I haven’t had a chance to write. I still have more letters to send, but I haven’t even written my word count for the night, so mail call may have to wait. I’m sure I’ll figure that one out soon.  So, for your viewing pleasure, here is the letter I received today, and here is the envelope I am sending back!

20150409_205020 <<<<<<——– The adorable envelope and stamp I received! I loved it!

20150409_21171020150409_211736 <<<<<——– What I’m sending back. I love Cat In The Hat. I hope she likes it too. 🙂

What do ya’ll think? 🙂 i hope whoever reads this has a wonderful night!

Blessings to all,

Trisha

Characters With A Mind Of Their Own

Hi everyone! Tonight I wrapped up my word count at a whopping 14,153 words. I’m pretty excited about this latest development. However, I’ve learned something over the past two days. My characters have a mind of their own! Now, before you think I’m crazy, it really is true! When I set out to write this novel, I had specific ideas and scenarios in mind, and apparently my characters just aren’t having any of it. Just like children, they thought my rules were ridiculous, and have set out to break them all!

I’m excited to say that I still love where this novel is going, although it slightly veered off from where I had originally intended. I realize that this happens, and I am lucky because this is only the first draft. Once the whole book is finished, I can hack away at what I need to, or even dare I say it, rewrite it. However, I don’t see myself doing that so much with this draft of the novel. I know it definitely needs to be cleaned up, edited, etc, that’s for sure. I just am happy to say, I’m really looking forward to where this is going. I’ll definitely let you know how I feel 15,000 words down the road.

On a side note, today this blog hit 130 followers, which is astounding to me! It makes me excited that there are so many people out there who actually want to read what I post. So, I just want to say another HUGE THANK YOU for reading. I hope I entertain you enough at least not to bore you to sleep. Haha.

So, are you writing a novel? Have you had a similar experience with your characters? If you have, I’d love to hear about it! To everyone who reads this, I hope you’re having a wonderful day! 🙂

Blessings to all,

Trisha