I want to start out by saying that over the past few weeks, I have felt ashamed of myself. I have been put into a funk of my own making, simply because I have sucked at being true to myself, and who I aim to be as a person. I backtracked, and fell into a dark hole of idiocy that is what other people who I dislike do. In short, I am not happy with a few decisions that I have made for myself as of late, and it has made me evaluate pretty much my whole existence.
I pride myself on always taking the high road, while peacefully diffusing a tense situation, or simply choosing flight to avoid unnecessary drama or confrontation. I’m not perfect, and I realize that it is inevitable that I will make mistakes. However, sometimes my mistakes simply are too grievous for me to just brush off. This would be the case in one certain instance last week where I stooped to a level I don’t ever like to enter.
To start off, I posted a ridiculous photo to my personal Facebook that in itself was a huge error on my part. However, I continued to insert foot into mouth by making ludicrous comments about said picture, attempting to defend my ignorant thoughts of said picture. In the end, a friend of mine made me realize that I was acting like the very people that I have been trying to protest against. Let’s just say, I am very ashamed of myself and my own hypocrisy.
Admitting that you’re wrong or that you’ve made a mistake is one of the hardest statements to utter. It’s really hard to reveal your own inadequacies to anyone, much less people who have thus far believed that you are someone worth listening to. However, I feel like if I don’t write this, then I will never be able to look at myself with anything short of disdain. Even though I have shamed myself into a corner, I realize that I can learn, grow, and then eventually move on from this. As humans we are always learning, always growing, and always changing.
What I wish to accomplish from this post besides admitting that I was wrong, is to be the change that I wish to see in the world, which has been my goal for almost my whole existence. Another reason that I have been upset with myself and my actions as of late, is simply because they didn’t align with my main goal, which is to be the change that I wish to see in the world. If I hope others will act with more love and compassion, then I definitely expect myself to do the same at the very least. So to further this belief, I will post a list of goals for myself that I hope one day the world will emulate.
1. Act with love and compassion to all, not just people that I care about.
2. Give more than I receive, and be grateful for what I have been blessed with.
3. Be tolerant of everyone’s beliefs, even if they massively disagree with my own. Respect that others have the right to their own opinions, even if those hurt your heart and make you want to puke.
4. Even when it hurts, be honest. Never dull down or change your answer to make someone else happy.
5. Use Thumper’s motto for hurtful words. Always find a kind word for everyone, even if they don’t deserve it.
6. Pay it forward.
7. Expect nothing, because the world does not owe me anything. Then, when a miracle does come my way, it will be a happy surprise.
8. Ignore the words of hateful people. I will not let others negativity wash over me and cause me to act in a negative way, or feel sorry for myself.
9. Keep promises, and refuse to make excuses.
10. Treat others how you wish to be treated, and take responsibility for the actions that I have carried out, whether positive or otherwise.
11. Love myself, and everyone around me with the same intensity.
12. Always give anything the best effort, whether I fail or not.
13. Be happy!
Well, there you have it. I don’t really have much else left to say. I have let this mistake consume me and my thoughts, but now I have made peace with it, and it’s time to move on. I have so much that I want to give the world, and my negativity is not one of those items. So now, I will let go and continue forward, making sure that I spread as much positivity with me as a make my way through life. I hope that everyone who reads this is able to do the same. Until next time, I hope that you are having a wonderful day,
Blessings to all,